


Falling

by HaleysHeaven



Series: Supernatural One-Shots [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Spoilers, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural Season 4, Supernatural Season 5, Supernatural Season 6, castiel - Freeform, supernatural season 7, supernatural season 8, vague mentions of Destiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaleysHeaven/pseuds/HaleysHeaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has fallen from grace.</p><p>Mostly just angsty Cas, written when I was younger. I'm not too great at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post on Ao3 and I'm on my cell phone so please forgive how bad this may end up being. Please suffer through 530 words and then give me feedback it would be much appreciated.

_I have fallen out of favour_

_I have fallen from grace._

_Fallen out of trees_

_And fallen on my face._

____________________

Castiel had fallen and rebelled in every way possible for the Winchesters, so at some point he had he had become indifferent to falling. Not so much the landing, but the falling aspect of the whole thing.

When Castiel watched his brethren fall he wasn't sure what he felt. Remorse, definitely. Sadness, no doubt. Althought mostly he felt empty. He had a missing piece. Castiel had lost his grace, he was missing the very thing that made him who he was.

__________________

_Fallen out of taxis_

_Out of windows too._

_Fell in your opinion_

_When I fell in love with you._

__________________

Castiel was useless.

The Winchesters wouldn't want him around any more. No mojo meant he couldn't help.

Why did they even keep him around? He screwed up everything, even if he was trying to help

As the former angel watched his family be banished from their home he decided to leave. Just leave the angels, demons and Winchesters behind, not forever, just for now.

It was best this way.

This way he couldn't screw anything up.

Castiel fucked up so many times.

Working with Crowley.

Playing God The Leviathans. Naomi.

The demon tablet.

Not trusting Dean.

Metatron.

Not listening to Dean.

Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose.

Dean Winchester, the Righteous Man. The man he raised from perdition and rebuilt. How could he forgive Castiel over and over again? Castiel was just a fuck up and Dean was the man that had stopped the apocalypse.

 

__________________________

_Sometimes I wish for falling_

_Wish for the release._

_Wish for falling through the air_

_To give me some relief._

_Because falling is not the problem_

_When I'm falling I'm at peace._

_It's only when I hit the ground_

_It causes all the grief._ __________________________

Castiel had let so many people down a countless number of times and somehow they all forgave him or ended up dead.

He wanted to forget. Forget the angels he slaughtered. Forget thebetrayal  in his closet friend's eyes.

Castiel had drunk himself into a obvilion once, maybe he could do that again. He had to drink a whole liquor store, but he just wanted to forget.

He wanted to forget all the times he had seen unhappiness upon somebody's face because of something he had done.

The Winchesters were the people he loved as family and he had let them down. But they had forgiven him, for the most part anyways. They forgave and accepted him more than his own blood had.

Wrecked sobs escapes from Castiel's throat. Hot tears running down his face as he tried to force down these new human emotions. Emotions that were threatening to drown him, send him spiraling off, unable to recover.

But he couldn't control the emotions. The anger, the fear, the sadness and the love.

And so he weeped.

__________________________

_I dance with myself_

_Drunk myself down._

_Found people to love_

_Left people to drown._

_I'm not scared to jump._

_I'm not scared to fall._

_If there was no where to land, I wouldn't be scared at all._

**Author's Note:**

> The song used here is Falling by Florence and the Machine.


End file.
